F.A.n.Q YOU DAVE DIAMOND!
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By Dave Diamond (the dude with attitude)
Many people ask me frequently asked questions - I`m a celebrity so why
shouldn`t they? In this three part interview we find out about Dave`s
youth,his tormented childhood and how the transformation of a lonely boy
lead to the creation of the man we all love today. Here are some
questions you may have thought about over the past few months/years so
let`s get on with the show and interview Dave Diamond....
Q) What made you write this trilogy of F.A.Qs?
A) The idea stemmed fom a interview on WWF Raw Is War,a wrestling tv
programme in which a character called `Mankind` was interviewed.
He is an excellent interviewee and gave some emotional documents
about his youth and career.
The piece really moved me as he went through more or less exactly the
same thing I underwent in scool so I thought I`d write a F.A.Q so my
readers would know about my history.
As the readers will soon know about in this long and detailed
trilogy.
Q) Will you ever scan a photo of yourself and distribute it for your
fans to see?
A) I have drawn some pictures of myself that have been doing the rounds
recently.
I think the time will come when I`m virtually everywhere text wise
and so the fans and readers will be absolutley gasping to see my
photo to see if I live up to what I say I look like.
So I guess I`ll eventually get around to doing so but only when I
have regular articles in InterNet site pages,possibly my own site and
on bulletin boards and computers around the world.
Q) What are you like to be around?
A) I`m a funny person,very shy and someone who always has something to
say if interested in the subject.
I`m a polite,handsome individual (!) who has the most caring and
wonderfull personality a girl could ever hope to wish for.
Q) Why did you first write articles? What did you hope to acomplish?
A) I first wrote articles to get my views `out there` and to try and
mussle up a few friends.
I didn`t try to acomplish anything but now that the article writing
has increased 200% I hope that I can interest people enough to read
my articles and so they will have something to look forward to.
Generally though I would like the knowlege that I`ve acomplished a
task to entertain all my readers in a frank and witty way.
Q) Why do you write so many articles?
A) I have nothing better to do! Plus I love talking (or rather writing)
about subjects I feel my "fans" would like to read about.
I have no job and so I put all my effort in writing (hopefully)
entertaining and thought provoking articles.
Q) Why the humour in most of your articles?
A) It`s best to refer to the article `Diamond Pathos` for more
information but I feel it`s best to capture an `audience` with a
crazy and fun style of writing rather than a conservative approach.
If you had a boring documentary and a wacky,fun documentary both
talking about the same subject matter I would always go for the
latter and I suppose many others would too.
Q) You always mention your "fans" why is this and do you have any
`genuine` fans of your work?
A) I mention my fans because they are the people who keep the Dave
Diamond legacy alive,if there were no fans then there wouldn`t be any
point in continuing my articles.
I do have real fans such as Mammoth and The Arab - who first got me
aware of my true entertainment value.
Q) You seem to be saying that your articles are just `entertainment`
surely your serious topics about life,drugs etc aren`t just a chance
for a bit of fun?
A) Of course not,I try and make my articles a place for people to turn
to,so if I talk about a serious topic like rape,even though I would
make it as dramatic as possible to get the readers attention I would
always end with some fun factor so that reader wouldn`t go away with
the impression that the world is doomed.
I`ve made my point so that the readers understands what I`m trying to
say and also they feel better at the end of the article.
Q) Your facination with Melissa Joan Hart has made some engrosing
articles to see `what happens next`,taking that from your `Therapy
Tape` you`re a great actor so can I assume that these various
articles are just another well produced sketch at Melissa`s expense?
A) No the Melissa articles were (unfortunatley) a genuine cry for help,I
wouldn`t write an article at someone elses expense unless they
deserved it for instance the Hugh Grant/Divine situation would be
appropriate as he should have known better.
Q) Many other writers that contribute articles seem to stick to certain
genres for example sport or computing code where-as you cover all
areas why is this?
A) Those writers are good at writing what they know about,for example
BootBlock could write for pages on end about Blitz Basic where-as I
couldn`t as I dont know anything about that subject.
I tend to write about stuff that interests me,the readers and also a
chance to get things off my chest.
Many other writers could stray from their chosen path but they like
what they write so they stick with it,I couldn`t do that as it`s too
restrictive and I`d find it boring after a while.
Q) There used to be quite a few adult articles in The Word before you
came along...what happened?
A) I think that when The Word went quiet for such a long time most of
the adult writers gave up.
If they aren`t still sending in their articles then they probably
fear being too stale after what I`ve wrote!
Q) So you`re the king of adult articles then?!
A) Yes,and hopefully other genres too!!
Q) Talking of adult articles why are you still continuing to submit
revealing articles after what`s already been distributed.
A) I`ll do anything to get that one reader to read my work and if it
takes shocking material at my expense then so be it!
I`ll keep on writing about sex and various other adult topics for as
long as I have something to say.
Q) What was your initial thoughts when you first saw your adult articles
in The Word issues 11 & 12?
A) At first I though `Oh god!!` as Freak (the then editor of the
magazine) didn`t want to include them as they were TOO revealing!
[I was the editor from issue 11. I still only let 90% of your adult
articles in based on content and subject matter. Kei]
Q) If any of your fans actually met you,would you be the wise-cracking
flamboyant character we all know and love?
A) That`s a hard question to answer as I`m a very,very shy person in
real life even though the Dave Diamond character does creep out in
some alarming situations and events.
So I wouldn`t know,there`s no telling what `character` I`ll play if
you ever met me,only the long time people know what I`m really like.
Q) So you`re not like you `other half` then?
A) No Dave Diamond is the complete reverse of myself.
Q) You say that Dave Diamond is a character???
A) Find out more next time!
E-Mail me at DAVE-DIAMOND@USA.NET
Read part two next time!!
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